Tales of the Taters

This is an account of the infamous Spudigans who escaped the trappings of a toy chest one fateful day. Until now, the last sighting was the escape out the front door and down the stairs where a pair of yellow glasses was found.

Spudster played a thick-skinned hero who’s tough and crispy, but every tot from Beijing to Idaho knew he was only a sweet potato. Construction was simply an excuse for him to wear a hardhat to cover his marshmallow heart.


Totlet dreamed of fitting the American Standard of a champion spud diver, but Papa Potato always said he’d never amount to chips. With flippers and goggles intact, Totlet took a dive and felt the rush of waves against his tanned face until he clogged the drain.


A feisty stallion and a gung-ho potato met on the horizon for a silver-screen moment. However, poor Tot Rogers misunderstood the meaning of “tack,” now Stanley is on a mission to have him mashed.


All the potatoes at the Gunny Sack said Totsy was rather spudly for catching himself a French blonde. Hopefully, no one will ever learn she was a drive-thru order.


Princess Spudelina fiddled day in and day out to make a studly spud to call her own, but nothing seemed to do. In despair, she went to the pond where a frog puckered up. Turns out it’s better to settle for a not-so-perfect spud instead of a fairytale frog.

After suffering an unfortunate spicing accident, Yami transformed into a half-rotot, half-yamlien hybrid. Although he seems to function as a normal spud would, he has developed a chronic paranoia. No worries, his light saber is only dangerous to Totness Monsters and Spudquatches.

From pitches to pages, Base Totter had baseball down to every last stitch. He could hit singles, doubles, triples, and throw curved, fast, sliders, but coaches don’t want a tater on the team. They only want their players to hit them.

After defeating the ferocious two-faced guardian, the gems and jewels belonged to Captain Jack Spudrow. Years of rot couldn’t handle the captain’s tug, though, dooming a greedy tater to eternity on the aquarium floor with the treasure spread all around.

All tottered and bumbled, Yamko found it difficult to fit in, even in his own shoes, until he found a job as an extinguisher at a junkyard. All the mini vans and Pintos opened their engines to the hodgepodge potato who seemed to ignite more fires than he put out.

On dreary evenings and stormy mornings, a white apparition tip-toes around Redbud Cemetery. The Ghost Tater of 1882 haunts the grounds until sunset. Despite his glow, he’s afraid of the dark.


This ends the Tales of the Taters, all gathered as one, overlooking the future Spudigans in the potato fields, each leaving a piece of themselves behind to keep their stories alive.

In Memory of Tot Rogers